Executive functioning skills are the "adulting" abilities that allow a person to begin and finish tasks, manage time, and handle stressful situations calmly. When children have glaring deficits in one or more of these skills, a parent may be at a loss as to how to help. Dr. Peg Dawson and Dr. Richard Guare have developed a series of books that guide parents through not only helping their children and teens, but also to work on weak areas in their own executive functioning that might be interfering with their success.
Dawson and Guare list the following as executive functioning skills:
We all have different strengths and weaknesses in these areas. As we grow older, most of us either strengthen our weak areas or find ways to compensate for them. For example, "working memory" is something I have less and less of these days. To compensate, I write lists, leave notes, use electronic reminders, or put trigger items in a place where I know I will see them. Task initiation is another weakness of mine. While I fight procrastination daily, I manage it in various ways. Dawson and Guare suggest starting small, and building in achievable rewards. For example, when I find myself putting off cleaning the house, I can decide to clear off two tables and vacuum for 10 minutes, and then reward myself with a cup of fresh-brewed coffee and my favorite creamer.
In some cases, weak executive functioning skills go hand-in-hand with learning disabilities, but once the skills are addressed and strengthened, the student is better able to compensate for his learning issues. Soberingly, Dawson writes, "weak executive functioning puts (students) at risk for compulsive, addictive behaviors, including substance abuse, unprotected or random sex, gambling, eating disorders, self-mutilation, preoccupation with appearance, emotional difficulties such as mood swings, suicidal thoughts and aggressive behaviors, and poor academic planning and success." (See more here.) So waiting for your child to grow out of his problems and magically acquire the skills he needs is not always a safe way to go.
Dawson and Guare list the following as executive functioning skills:
- response inhibition (impulse control)
- working memory (keeping track of things)
- emotional control
- task initiation (not procrastinating)
- sustained attention (focus)
- planning/prioritizing
- organization
- time management
- flexibility
- metacognition
- goal-directed persistence
- stress tolerance
We all have different strengths and weaknesses in these areas. As we grow older, most of us either strengthen our weak areas or find ways to compensate for them. For example, "working memory" is something I have less and less of these days. To compensate, I write lists, leave notes, use electronic reminders, or put trigger items in a place where I know I will see them. Task initiation is another weakness of mine. While I fight procrastination daily, I manage it in various ways. Dawson and Guare suggest starting small, and building in achievable rewards. For example, when I find myself putting off cleaning the house, I can decide to clear off two tables and vacuum for 10 minutes, and then reward myself with a cup of fresh-brewed coffee and my favorite creamer.
In some cases, weak executive functioning skills go hand-in-hand with learning disabilities, but once the skills are addressed and strengthened, the student is better able to compensate for his learning issues. Soberingly, Dawson writes, "weak executive functioning puts (students) at risk for compulsive, addictive behaviors, including substance abuse, unprotected or random sex, gambling, eating disorders, self-mutilation, preoccupation with appearance, emotional difficulties such as mood swings, suicidal thoughts and aggressive behaviors, and poor academic planning and success." (See more here.) So waiting for your child to grow out of his problems and magically acquire the skills he needs is not always a safe way to go.
Part of good parenting is helping our children build competence in executive functioning skills, so that they can eventually live on their own and keep a job successfully. Some parents have the same strengths and weaknesses their child has, while others have very different ones; either way, there is help. For parents of elementary through middle school age students, Smart but Scattered is an excellent resource. Then there is Smart but Scattered Teens. Smart but Scattered Guide to Success is for the adult who would like to improve his own executive functioning. All of these are available on Amazon kindle, or in hard copy from the publisher.
In these books, the authors explain that there are basically three ways to help a person with weak executive functioning: change the environment, teach the skills, and provide incentives. For example, if your child has trouble keeping her room clean, you could:
1) Change the environment by providing specific organization and storage helps in the room-- a laundry basket, labeled toy bins, bookshelves, closet organizers, and school supply caddies.
2) Teach the skills of organizing, task initiation and item management by first showing the child (or helping him develop) a step-by-step process for cleaning: make the bed, put dirty clothes in hamper, clean clothes in designated closet or drawers, put trash in trash can, place toys in designated storage, dishes and other stray objects in appropriate places, books/papers/school supplies in designated places, vacuum floor. Provide (or help child make) a checklist, set of task cards, picture board, or whatever suits his level of maturity. Finally, provide reminders and support until the child is able to complete the task consistently on his own.
3) Provide your child with incentives that are both appropriate and motivating. A four year old might be spurred on by, "Let's pick up your toys, so we can go to the park and play!" A fourteen year old might be more motivated by, "When your room is clean, you may go to the movie with your friends." Different children are motivated by different things, and these books provide suggestions for tailoring the incentive to the child.
You may know adults whose specific executive functioning weaknesses have been crippling, sometimes leading to financial ruin, job loss, divorce, and other disasters. Others may just be frustrated by their own disorganization or procrastination tendencies. The skills of competent adult behavior can be taught, and these books can help parents do just that.
In these books, the authors explain that there are basically three ways to help a person with weak executive functioning: change the environment, teach the skills, and provide incentives. For example, if your child has trouble keeping her room clean, you could:
1) Change the environment by providing specific organization and storage helps in the room-- a laundry basket, labeled toy bins, bookshelves, closet organizers, and school supply caddies.
2) Teach the skills of organizing, task initiation and item management by first showing the child (or helping him develop) a step-by-step process for cleaning: make the bed, put dirty clothes in hamper, clean clothes in designated closet or drawers, put trash in trash can, place toys in designated storage, dishes and other stray objects in appropriate places, books/papers/school supplies in designated places, vacuum floor. Provide (or help child make) a checklist, set of task cards, picture board, or whatever suits his level of maturity. Finally, provide reminders and support until the child is able to complete the task consistently on his own.
3) Provide your child with incentives that are both appropriate and motivating. A four year old might be spurred on by, "Let's pick up your toys, so we can go to the park and play!" A fourteen year old might be more motivated by, "When your room is clean, you may go to the movie with your friends." Different children are motivated by different things, and these books provide suggestions for tailoring the incentive to the child.
You may know adults whose specific executive functioning weaknesses have been crippling, sometimes leading to financial ruin, job loss, divorce, and other disasters. Others may just be frustrated by their own disorganization or procrastination tendencies. The skills of competent adult behavior can be taught, and these books can help parents do just that.
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